Hear me out: you get all the neighborhood dads to go in together on this investment (could be the perfect retirement plan).

When you consider just how many people you can feed with this bad boy, it’ll help with the sticker shock. This is the Black Earth Community Grill. Priced at $12k… so maybe it’s time to run for HOA President so that you can control the neighborhood budget? If the Feds come knocking, just remember: snitches get stitches.

It’s a combination gas and pellet grill with 8 burners and a SpaceX-rocket style 160,000 BTU. Plus, that lid opens on both sides, so at least 6 grill daddies can gather around comfortably and debate how many times to flip the burgers.

The Barbecue Lab ran this thing through its paces, and, honestly, don’t be surprised if you go from “who could possibly need that?” to “hey babe, what’s the limit on the Amex?”

And while you compile your list of justifications for why you need a big*ss new grill, consider that this thing is firing on two levels as a pellet smoker and a gas grill, so you’ll save some space on the patio… well, maybe not.

Just imagine rolling up to the function (or just camping out in the Costco parking lot) with a grill that’s longer than Shaq…

P.S. If you’re looking for something more practical, we share Serious Eats’ top 20 (regular-sized) gas grills in the BAR-B-IQ section below.