It is said that every good BBQ has one thing in common…. PATIENCE!! The low and slow cooking of meat isn’t something you become good at overnight. It requires consistency through experience, effort & time. BBQ quiets things down in a world where literally everything else is always moving faster & faster. It certainly doesn’t make life any easier but it does force you to focus on “the now.” You see, in BBQ, not only do you feed others, you feed your own soul.

The same can be said about friendship. Like any good offset smoker, true friendship demands things from you like time, patience and presence. Friendships and quality BBQ are hard to come by these days for the simple fact that people don’t like doing hard things anymore!

You see, those who are passionate about BBQ tend to be good at friendship because we don’t mind the time and extra effort. This world of today doesn’t give us much anymore, it seems we all know it but do little to change it. But BBQ and friendships do & that’s why they are so important. I don’t fire up the smoker or go visit a friend to escape, I do it to find myself again, give myself back a small moment of the most important gift we have in life… TIME!! Because time spent with the pit and friends is time well spent.

BBQ has been good to me and at the root cause of many great cooks in beautiful locations, created smiles upon first bite that will remain pictures in my soul until the day the good Lord calls me home and of course some of the best damn eats I’ve ever had the pleasure of tasting (even cooked a few of my own). But the part I love most about BBQ are the friendships it creates.

I'm a Marshall alum and a diehard Thundering Herd football fan. Every year, we throw a big event with the Thundercast (a Marshall fan podcast) for the first game of the season. At last year's kickoff, I was introduced to Dead Meat Society, the grilling and BBQ community, and met its founder, Jake, a James Madison University (JMU) Dukes fan. Football rivals, but we hit it off over a shared love of BBQ.

Marshall was no match for the Dukes this year (Jake who calls himself “Chief Grilling Officer” said that in my ear after almost all 567 JMU first downs) while playing the equivalent of the south end of a north bound mule & I somehow managed to dump a small tub of mustard all over my brand spanking new white Thundering Herd pullover…. BREATHE KYLE!!

BBQ and friendship was on full display in Harrisonburg, VA or The Valley as they call it locally on the first weekend of October this year. Even more in the many tailgate spots we visited with chats about rubs, sauces, and bourbon. There were also many ideas about the 2027 Dead Meat Society / Thundercast tailgate when JMU plays at Marshall, and yours truly agreed to kiss some meat with smoke (as long as this game happens!). If you love to cook over open flame & aren’t a member of Dead Meat Society, you should be… it is the best way to learn without a bunch of smart ass know it all’s belittling you. 

Because BBQ & friendship made me whole again & for a couple days, time was well spent.

Keep that smoke rolling, your friends close & that f-ing mustard off your white clothing.